Her Take

In grad school, I wrote a paper on sports myths that have endured through generations, such as the Curse of the Bambino and the Curse of the Billy Goat. The gist of these tales is there’s an other-worldly explanation for the things that haunt us the most, like a World Series title eluding the Red Sox for 86 years after the Babe Ruth trade, and the Cubs for 108 years after stadium officials denied entrance to a billy goat named Murphy (I’m not kidding).

If you were to read my paper, you’d probably realize it’s a satirical commentary on sports fans’ deeply personal beliefs that there simply cannot be any reasonable explanations for why their teams have come up short of the goal line. The paper is satire because I’m a sports fan who can analyze, rationalize, and compartmentalize. However, this blog post isn’t satire; it’s simply a fact that I, personally, me, hi, hello, am cursed. And my curse is a jersey curse.

Sports jerseys aren’t cheap. Generally speaking, fans purchase them with the expectation they’ll be able to wear them for years to come. It sucks to be the person at the game wearing an outdated jersey, particularly if the player left on bad terms. Though sometimes, under the best circumstances, you can recycle an old jersey with just a few pieces of tape, but I digress.*

My first “jersey” was an oversized Jim Thome t-shirt that my mom found at T.J. Maxx just before my birthday in 2004. I had just taken an interest in baseball and loved Jim Thome because he had hit 42 homeruns in the previous season. I experienced my first heartbreak when, a year later, the Phillies traded him to the Cubs.

After that I needed one for a current Philadelphia player, and I requested an Allen Iverson jersey for Christmas. I wanted a blue one because it was my favorite Sixers’ alternate jersey. My wish came true for Christmas 2005, and by Christmas 2006, A.I. had been traded to the Nuggets.

Luckily, The Answer’s legacy has held up in Philadelphia, and I can still get away with wearing his jersey. I wore this one to a Hornets game in Charlotte because I like to cause trouble. They weren’t even playing the Sixers.

If you’re a Philadelphia fan, you probably know what’s coming next. Donovan McNabb had just led the Eagles to their first Super Bowl appearance since 1981. They lost, but McNabb had played lights out, with flu symptoms, and had cemented himself as an icon in Philly. His 2005 season started fine but he eventually ended up on the IR list and the Eagles posted a 6-10 record following their trip to the Super Bowl. More injuries plagued him through 2007.

Following along? That’s three jerseys in my closet for three players who were either traded or injured within two years of me receiving the jersey. That’s enough to raise some alarms, or at least an eyebrow. But did it stop there? Would this be worthy of a blog post if it did?

Raúl Ibañez
Received his jersey: 2009
Left the Phillies: 2011

Jayson Werth
Received his jersey: 2010
Left the Phillies: 2010

DeSean Jackson
Received his jersey: 2011
Left the Eagles: 2014

Roy Halladay
Received his jersey: 2012
Injured, then retired: 2013

LeSean McCoy
Received his jersey: 2013
Left the Eagles: 2015

Nick Foles
Received his jersey: 2013
Left the Eagles (for the first time): 2015

DeMarco Murray
Received his jersey: 2015
Left the Eagles: 2016
*(I made a makeshift DeMarco Murray #29 jersey using my LeSean McCoy jersey and a couple pieces of tape. Eventually I got a real jersey because a) I thought it was only natural since he replaced LeSean McCoy, and b) I wanted to stick it to the Cowboys. Turns out they stuck it to me when Murray’s contract with the Eagles earned the distinction as one of the worst free agent contracts in NFL history)

Shayne Gostisbehere
Received his jersey: 2015
Injured: 2016

Carson Wentz
Received his jersey: 2016
Season-ending injury: 2017

Joel Embiid
Received his jersey: 2016
Season-ending injury: 2017

Darren Sproles
Received his jersey: 2016
Injured: 2017

Some might say I have a thing for tight ends.

Brent Celek
Received his jersey: 2016
Left the Eagles: 2018

Zach Ertz
Received his jersey: 2018
Injured: 2020

Jimmy Butler
Received his jersey: 2018
Left the Sixers: 2019

If you’ve made it this far, and you’re a Philly fan, you’re probably screaming at me to stop. buying. JERSEYS! You also may be wondering if the curse extends beyond Philadelphia and could be used as a kind of reversal of fortune. The answer is I don’t want to talk about it.

The good news? Nick Foles came back to Philadelphia and won a Super Bowl. I have jerseys for one current Phillies player and three current Eagles players that I will not name publicly in case the jersey curse coordinators read this blog. And I will always have Ryan Howard, the only Philadelphia player who has escaped the fate of my jersey ownership (if we’re being real, that might only be because I bought his jersey after multiple season-ending injuries). Thanks for being you, Ryan.