Her Take

Has any sane person ever become famous for writing a manifesto?

Michigan’s latest cheating scandal comes at the hands of a man named Connor Stalions, a low level staffer seemingly obsessed with Michigan Football. Stalions was allegedly involved in stealing signals from opposing teams by attending and scouting sideline strategies of Michigan’s future opponents. Some might claim this is common tactic to prepare for upcoming matchups, but the extent to which Stalions has gone to obtain this footage, including using his personal Venmo to pay sideline reporters for information and sending people in his stead to record the sidelines, is a bit questionable.

Stalions, pre-COVID, would watch games on TV, decode the sideline signals, and then whisper into Josh Gattis’s ear about the coverage and pressure he was observing. This is not against NCAA rules. What is against NCAA rules was how he escalated his sign-stealing: reportedly attending more than 30 games at 11 different Big 10 schools and allegedly filming the sidelines from his phone. His sign-stealing was reportedly so pervasive that one school made up dud signals when they suspected Stalions was filming them.

(It’s interesting to note that Stalions purchased tickets on both sides of Ohio Stadium for the Penn State vs Ohio State game this year, but those tickets went unused after news of the scandal broke.)

Did Stalions’s sign-stealing create an unfair advantage for Michigan? He was reportedly hired in 2022, and in the football season immediately following his hiring, Michigan went undefeated in the conference. Supposedly, he was a volunteer pre-COVID, so if we look back between 2019-2022, Michigan’s record against Big 10 opponents was 16-8. The 10 years before that? 48-35. Not bad, but closer to average than to good.

Stalions was also the champion of a theory that GPA and test scores correlated to play on the field, suggesting that players’ whose GPAs outpaced their test scores would possess a work ethic that outpaced their natural abilities. He backed this theory by obtaining, under suspicious circumstances, a decade of high school standardized test scores and GPAs belonging to football players at the Naval Academy, where he attended college and served as a graduate assistant with the football team. Reportedly, Michigan coaches were fond of this theory, and one might assume that this only fueled Stalions to keep going with his questionable strategies.

It appears, at least on the surface, that Stalions has always had delusions of grandeur, or at the very least, improbable dreams. Though a lifelong fan, he claims to have denied admission to Michigan to attend the Naval Academy because Bo Schembechler and Bill Belichick are Navy grads.

To add to this, Stalions reportedly has spent years compiling the “Michigan Manifesto” – a 600-page Google Doc that details an extensive plan for the future of Michigan football led by Stalions himself. This was a collaborative effort, Stalions claims, planning for the next 15 years and beyond, by a group of “a dozen or two.” So not only did Stalions manage to convince himself that one day he would be the head coach, he also convinced about 20 others that they would also be on the staff, executing the plans laid out in the manifesto. If it sounds like a cult and acts like a cult…

Stalions’s actions, motivated by his desire to immerse himself onto Michigan’s sideline, have led to some major problems for the program, including Jim Harbaugh’s sideline ban through the remainder of the season. His plans have led to one of the biggest scandals in NCAA history and have created likely lasting consequences for the program he’s always loved. Stalions has seemingly devoted his life to becoming Michigan’s head coach, an effort that now seems to have gone up in smoke before he’s even turned 30, but has left him in a place to be forever synonymous with Michigan football. Will that be enough?

_